27 Jul

Financial Reasons to End Your Long-Distance Relationship

There are many wonderful things about long-distance relationships. You get to be involved in an intimate relationship while still retaining your individual space and getting a lot of opportunities to enjoy solitude. You are able to really draw out that initial spark of romance since you’re frequently seeing each other again after long absences. You are able to stay in the place where you live even if the person you love doesn’t live there. So there are benefits to these relationships but there are also a lot of drawbacks. And if you’re trying to live a frugal life, the biggest drawback is going to be that long-distance relationships are really expensive.

The Obvious Reasons That Long-Distance Relationships Cost Money

There are a lot of reasons that long-distance relationships end up costing you more financially than local relationships do. Some of these reasons are obvious including:

• Cost of living separately. The biggest reason that it costs more to be in a long-distance relationship is because the two of you are supporting your own individual households instead of living together. Couples who have local relationships are more likely to move in together quickly. This means they go down to one rent or mortgage payment, shared utility costs and sometimes even one car.

Even couples who live in the same city together but who don’t share a place may reduce their total cost of living just by being together. Think of it this way – if you stay at your girlfriend’s house three nights out of the week then those three nights are nights that you aren’t running your own electricity or eating your own groceries. That kind of savings doesn’t happen as often with long-distance relationships.

• Travel costs. Another obvious major cost of long-distance relationships is the cost that you pay to travel to see one another. People in these relationships don’t want to go a long time without face-to-face contact. As a result, they spend a whole lot of money on plane tickets and train rides. Even if you’re using budget travel and saving your miles, you’re spending a lot more money than you should be just to be around the person that you love.

• Communication costs. In the past, it also cost a lot to communicate with your long-distance lover. Long-distance phone calls weren’t cheap. These days with cell phones and VoIP, you should be able to talk for free. Still, there are other communication costs to consider such as the cost to send letters and packages for holidays.

The Less Obvious Reasons to Break Up for Money

The common costs associated with a long-distance relationship are probably something that you’ve already thought about before if you’re in one of these relationships. But what about the other ways in which these relationships tend to be more costly. Some of the financial strains that are common to long-distance relationships but which we don’t often consider include:

• Frequency of gifts. People who are in long-distance relationships tend to buy each other gifts more often. It’s a way to help your partner feel secure in your love for them even when you aren’t around to tell them all the time. That can get pricey.

• Spending more on dates. People who live apart will typically spend a lot more on their dates when they do get together. They go to nicer restaurants, visit the tourist attractions in their respective towns and check out pricey entertainment. They feel justified in this because they aren’t together very often but it can add up to a lot more money than what couples usually spend when they live in the same place. Even couples who live together and who go on dates frequently may spend less monthly on dates than people who rarely see each other because they’re more likely to check out free activities and to simply hang out together.

• Spending more on your own entertainment. When you are part of a long-distance relationship, there are a lot of ways in which you are still single. You have to have a social life which means that you’re going to be going out a lot with friends. Or you may fill your time by taking classes. These things cost money. When you’re in a local relationship, there’s a lot of time spent with the other person just being together and watching TV or working on projects. When you’re alone, you’re more likely to go out and spend money. This ends up costing a lot if you’re not careful.

• Cost of counseling. Long-distance relationships do have a lot of benefits but they also have a lot of drawbacks. Those drawbacks aren’t just financial. There are a lot of insecurity and trust issues to be worked through if these relationships are going to work. Couples in long-distance relationships may find that they need professional counseling to assist them in dealing with these issues. That counseling rarely comes cheap!

Is It Worth It?

There are times when moving to separate places can make financial sense (such as when both people get good jobs in different parts of the country, offsetting the cost of the long-distance relationship.) And a lot of people in long-distance relationships will say that the financial costs are worth it if the relationship is a good one anyway. But ultimately it probably makes more financial sense to find someone you’re compatible with who lives near you than it does to keep paying a lot of money to live apart from someone for years at a time.

If you do choose to stay in your long-distance relationship then you should work together to find a frugal way to do that. Plan trips at off-season times, give each other inexpensive gifts instead of pricey ones and try to find affordable things to do when you are together. After all, going into debt is hardly going to help your relationship to thrive over time!

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